Of smelted core and drifting shallows

play a tune of a summer breeze,

of half life and a distant land,

in the brazenness of molten cheese

find a castle in the sand

 

let the lack not defeat the lustre

the wooden bowl with the silver spoon

let vanity not make you fluster

a broken chord with the silver moon

 

let the firefly flicker the candle supreme

and trounce the troll under the bridge tonight

let ecstasy crest the trough of my dream

and carry me in the hem of her flight

 

beyond the wall of destiny’s fire

the crackled thorn in the skin of one

the future shrinks back into the shire

and the past lies dead and done

i have done a bunch of Model UN competitions in Pune back in the day. i always enjoyed the way resolutions would be drafted for the councils. the language, though at times confusing, somehow had a classy feel to it (apologies to leftist anti-esoterics). i've also been looking for a way to deal with a problem that plagues too many of us. so here goes...



Deeply disturbed at the near universal aversion by the majority urban working populations, possibly the world over, to the first working day of the week, typically Monday,

Noting with concern the equally near universal reference to the sentiments of the said majority working populations relating to the said first working day of the week as ‘Monday morning blues’,

Having studied, though imperfectly and based on sporadic status messages and spot interviews, the range of emotions associated with the term ‘Monday morning blues’ and realizing that the said emotions may range from perturbed annoyance, mild dyspepsia or disorientation induced by inebriated overindulgence, to possible catatonia upon the discovery of the ravages of the week ahead,

Having considered further that the effects of the ‘Monday morning blues’ have been tangible and evident in my behavior on several Monday mornings heretofore,

Taking into account the fact that one’s workday on a Monday is usually a determinant of the mood of the week to follow and recognizing the need for having a good Monday in order to supplement the possibility of a good week thereafter,

Having adopted on a trial basis a strategy this last Monday, more properly outlined in the clauses to follow, to beat the Monday morning blues and noting with satisfaction the positive effect the execution of the said strategy has had on my week so far,

Realising the basic fact that if it worked for me, it may work for you,

1. Recommends the indulgence of oneself by any means necessary including, but not limited to, motion pictures, alcohol, discotheques, parks, long drives / rides on suitable vehicles, practical jokes, friendly get-togethers, community cookouts, and / or non-procreative recreation (the foregoing being only illustrative and not exhaustive) specifically on Monday evenings or at any time convenient on Mondays, or such other day as may be the first day of the week for any who read this;

2. Reaffirms the commitment made to pursue the above strategy to the largest extent possible, and to note any adverse consequences counterproductive to the solution of the problem sought to be alleviated by the said strategy;

3. Calls upon the general public to adopt on a trial basis the strategy recommended above;

4. Reminds the general public that every Monday is to be followed by a working week and urges the general public to avoid destructive overindulgence;

5. Expresses its hope that the adoption of the above strategy shall positively benefit all who adopt it;

6. Resolves to remain actively seized of the matter.

The Life of Me #2

So i login to gmail today and look at my chat list. people love to post status msgs, don't they? Nowadays, the status msgs are longer than the area showing the chat list, so they tend to trail off. sometimes they get funny.

status msg of one of my friends:

"looking fwd to my bang..."

aren't we all? :)

(clarification: further investigation revealed that the actual msg is "looking fwd to my bangalore trip next month.... :D)

When you once were mine...

this post is a very different one than my others.. a whole different genre, if you will... :)

running... mild trepidation and ecstatic expectation jostling for my attention... oh my God! it's the first time i'll be seeing you in the longest time... you're early, i'm late... the train pulled in 10 minutes to soon.. you're waiting for me... the coffee shop, the auto stand... coffee shop? food... i haven't eaten dinner, but you said on the phone that you've had a bite... your voice on the phone! i drove like i was possessed, like i was crazed by my need to see you... i was only a few minutes from that voice then... only a few seconds now...

atm machine... do i cash out now? screw it, i wanna see you first... oh, how i have waited... i have to see you now!

there's the coffee shop! the run is slowing to a jog... what'll i say? what'll you say? i can't ease the tension with a joke.. especially not on whatever you might have done to your hair... i saw you last as a beautiful girl on a train.. i'll see you now as my beautiful girl on the train... the equation is different... will we see it right away?

i see you! i see you! i slow down further into a walk... your hair is different... you have that slightly hard look on your face, a natural hard set of the jaw... you're blankly looking at nothing... your i-pod in hand, bag slung on your back... waiting... i'm walking upto you, the distance is fading, the moment is coming...

i'm within 5 feet of you... you look up, you see me, you smile... it's a little forced... i was right.. it is weird for both of us... we both want to meet, to see each other, explore the mystery that we present to each other.. but the first look is always difficult... nervous half-hug... i'm talking, but what am i saying? i don't know, i think you don't either...

home...
a nice warm bath after the long train journey... you've changed into a t-short and shorts... i'm wondering if you were thinking about all the times i've said that i'll judge your legs... you have't disappointed!! and you're crazy to not like them... i do..


i anticipated the awkwardness.. i know you did too... a movie, a comedy.. that should lighten the mood... the movie is on, the light is on... we're on the bed, backs rested against the wall, while the laptop plays Tropic Thunder, amplified on the plugged-in stereo sound system... your hand, God, i want to hold your hand!! i can feel the tension... we both want something to happen, but how?

movie's over.. you're hungry.. glad i picked up that second chicken roll... you're eating it at the dining room table.. you look beautiful.. hehe, you look sweet, fumbling with that roll...

back on the bed, looking ahead... we're talking about something or the other.. you put your head on my shoulder... i put my arm around you... we embrace... it happens so naturally, so instinctively, so fluidly... your lips are so soft, so amenable, searching, feeling, playing, teasing... somehow the light is turned off, and in the darkness gently pierced by the dim illumination from lights outside, i begin to see you... as layer after layer of inhibition is peeled off with our clothing, we throw ourselves into the discovery of each other, dissolving into each other, creating a bond of feeling, emotionality, dependence, joy, hope, togetherness, belonging... the gasps with every fresh frontier reached, every boundary crossed... all else is irrelevant, any thoughts not conducive to our frenetic rapture seeming too distant to matter... our passion elevates us to a state of semi-consciousness... we find completion, finality, fulfillment, release, in each other... there is only you, nothing but you...

dawn breaks... daylight shines upon you, accentuating the colour of your flawless skin...
we find a perfect fit in each other's embrace, meaningful nothingness, opaque clarity, serrated spokes of auburn fire in your iris converging in your pupil
... i lose myself everytime i look into your eyes, those beautiful eyes... a dreamy sleep begins to descend upon us... as my eyes begin grow heavier, i look at you again, eyes shut, half-smiling, at peace, your hand still in mine... and then i realise...

You get me closer to God...

What if...?

What if you had a dream? A beautiful dream. One well worth waiting for, working towards. You knew right in the beginning, you’d have to earn the right to live the dream. You’d have to make something of yourself. You’d have to surpass expectations beyond anything even remotely ordinary. You’d have to shine so bright, that any detractors are blinded into submission, before the dream could be realised.

What if you realized, much later, that the dream may (will) never be realized? That the world will not let you have it, and it is not simply a question of a struggle with the world, but also with yourself. What if, despite every attempt at accepting what appears to be the inevitable, with every resolute promise of changing priorities, all you really seem to want, however foolishly, is that and only that dream. What if, despite the dream itself on so many occasions turning into a nightmare, convincing you that pursuance thereof can mean near inevitable ruin, you wanted nothing more than to be ruined?

What if you stoically stopped yourself from realizing at least a portion of that dream because you considered it somewhat premature and fleeting at that point, and then you later realised that that was probably the only bit of your foot that you might have gotten through the door? What if day after day you were tormented with the thought that every chance of achieving the dream was being wrenched away from you, and you fought with yourself reminding yourself that you knew this was inevitable? What if you are close to losing that fight for sanity, yet again?

What if one day it truly did become totally impossible to achieve the dream? Would you still do all you would need to to make yourself worthy of a dream you can never realize? Would you rise like a phoenix for no apparent purpose, a victor of a battle for a prize that is already lost?

I would. I will.

Knotty Boy

Tis a precarious time in which I find myself living. No, I’m not talking about terrorism, nor religious extremism, nor linguistic / cultural dogmatism, or anything like that. My problem (if indeed I could call it that) is a little more immediate. It is the phenomenon of many of my friends / acquaintances getting married, many more of them talking of getting married (which includes stories of ‘loser guys asking for blood types in the first meeting’, or ‘he was good looking, ya, but then he started talking!!!’ etc.), and of course, that stage in my life when I suddenly start attending weddings of people I actually know.

After the mind of every wedding planning parent / bride / groom / professional has been assailed by an unrelenting stream of wedding based films from Bollywood, and other Indian ‘woods’, there are some elements that are increasingly becoming common in most every wedding, or shall we say, pre-wedding. One such element is the concept of the ‘Sangeet’ programme before a wedding. My very limited attempts to understand the modalities of this programme revealed that it is traditionally something done by the bride’s side, but these days, I don’t think anybody really cares how it happens.

Being precariously close to an age (or maybe at an age) when the world seems only too happy and eager to tell you to get married [some like Bossina even gratuitously offering to speak to the parents of one girl I once had a crush on (hmmm… not a bad way to get some cred with chicks.. eheheheh)], I apprehend that I am only a few steps away from feeling like a donkey that people are trying to pin a tail to. But then, there are some positives to be thought about.

Seeing all the pre-marriage new-age twists to some enduring rituals or customary pratices, I think I want to have a wish-list for when the inevitable hammer falls on my bachelorhood, sealing its fate for good (or atleast till the time when I can afford alimony). So here goes:


BIKRAM’S WISH-LIST FOR WHEN HE FACES THE MUSIC

1. Bachelor Party – Yes, this concept has crept into yuppy India from the West. Such a party is not restricted to only bachelors, but married men can also attend (and feel sorry for themselves). I don’t need strippers, but there will be alcohol, the smokers can smoke, no drugs, but Babu must dance to ‘Das bahane karke le gaya dil’ (classic sight, I say!!). Women unrelated to the bride or the groom invited. Clothing optional for women, a must for men.

2. Sangeet – It’ll be my side doing it. And it will not be a bunch of dances, some old people singing bhajans / ghazals, and certainly not a bunch of fat aunty’s, one on a dholak / pakhwaj, singing a bunch of shaadi songs. Hell no!!! It will be the much awaited reunion concert of Ehsaas!! That’s right, the Sangeet programme for my marriage will be a friggin’ rock concert!!! And we will blow the crowd away!!!

3. Post-marriage pre-coital prank – I want the woman that I marry to know that essentially she will have tied the knot with a man who revels in craziness (of the fun / funny variety. PMS and similar hormonally induced strains of madness not included). The Mag 7 + 1 are an insane bunch, each with his own unique madness, and the combined effect of all us madcaps can be embarrassingly devastating. Seeing as playing a prank on the bride and groom on their first night as a married couple is also somewhat traditional, my inputs will of course be missing. The other 7 (i.e. Mag 7 – 1 + 1) will no doubt be able to think of something suitably (in)appropriate to do, so that the poor soul that ends up with me is well aware of the kind of people whom I shall hold dear to my life as long as life holds onto me (in addition to my family, out of whom my two elder brothers, seeing as I am aware of stories displaying their own considerable levels of madness, may participate in playing the prank on me along with the Mag 7 – 1 + 1).

I am not aware of any other pre-marriage rituals as of now. I welcome feedback as to other things that happen, so that I may make appropriate additions to my wish-list.

DISCLAIMER: The above is not, and shall not be construed in any respect whatsoever to be an indication of, averment to, or expression of, any desire, interest, inclination, submission, invitation, proposition, offer or solicitation on the part of the Author of the idea of getting married at anytime in the short-term (which expression, unless repugnant to the context, shall mean and include any period of time as may be decided upon at the sole discretion of the Author). The Author hereby disclaims all responsibility and liability for any acts or omissions on the part of any person(s) that may have been motivated from the text contained above, and which are not beneficial to the Author, and the right to determine whether or not such act or omission is beneficial to the Author shall rest solely with the Author.

Ladies and Gents (particularly the Ladies) Forgive me!! :)

over lunch today a few of my colleagues and i were lamenting on our various experiences with the maladorous olfactory essence of another colleague of ours who, fortunately, was not present at the time (by the way, that's just a complicated way of saying that that guy suffers from body odour, or actually, it's us who suffer). an idea struck me, and i made it into a lil parody of a very famous song, just the first part tho. maybe i should develop on it. i used to write lil parodies and trash songs not too long ago. it's just for fun, but the idea of what happens in the song scares me, and i sincerely hope it never happens to you (and me of course!!)...

[To be sung to the tune of 'Thriller' by the late great Michael Jackson (R.I.P.)]

it's close to midnight
your girl n you are walking to the park
under the moonlight
you hear a sound that almost stops your heart
you start to freeze
so hoping that it will just fly away
but there is no breeze
to clear the air and it's tearin you apart
it's your girl's FART!!!

and it's a STINKER!
a stinker tonight
and no one's gonna save you from the draught of your stinky plight
yes it's a stinker
(pee-yooo!!!)
a stinker tonight
you're fighting for your life
beside the Killer Stinker
tonight!!!!

[ha ha ha ha.. (cough).. (choke)... (gag)...]