i have done a bunch of Model UN competitions in Pune back in the day. i always enjoyed the way resolutions would be drafted for the councils. the language, though at times confusing, somehow had a classy feel to it (apologies to leftist anti-esoterics). i've also been looking for a way to deal with a problem that plagues too many of us. so here goes...
Deeply disturbed at the near universal aversion by the majority urban working populations, possibly the world over, to the first working day of the week, typically Monday,
Noting with concern the equally near universal reference to the sentiments of the said majority working populations relating to the said first working day of the week as ‘Monday morning blues’,
Having studied, though imperfectly and based on sporadic status messages and spot interviews, the range of emotions associated with the term ‘Monday morning blues’ and realizing that the said emotions may range from perturbed annoyance, mild dyspepsia or disorientation induced by inebriated overindulgence, to possible catatonia upon the discovery of the ravages of the week ahead,
Having considered further that the effects of the ‘Monday morning blues’ have been tangible and evident in my behavior on several Monday mornings heretofore,
Taking into account the fact that one’s workday on a Monday is usually a determinant of the mood of the week to follow and recognizing the need for having a good Monday in order to supplement the possibility of a good week thereafter,
Having adopted on a trial basis a strategy this last Monday, more properly outlined in the clauses to follow, to beat the Monday morning blues and noting with satisfaction the positive effect the execution of the said strategy has had on my week so far,
Realising the basic fact that if it worked for me, it may work for you,
1. Recommends the indulgence of oneself by any means necessary including, but not limited to, motion pictures, alcohol, discotheques, parks, long drives / rides on suitable vehicles, practical jokes, friendly get-togethers, community cookouts, and / or non-procreative recreation (the foregoing being only illustrative and not exhaustive) specifically on Monday evenings or at any time convenient on Mondays, or such other day as may be the first day of the week for any who read this;
2. Reaffirms the commitment made to pursue the above strategy to the largest extent possible, and to note any adverse consequences counterproductive to the solution of the problem sought to be alleviated by the said strategy;
3. Calls upon the general public to adopt on a trial basis the strategy recommended above;
4. Reminds the general public that every Monday is to be followed by a working week and urges the general public to avoid destructive overindulgence;
5. Expresses its hope that the adoption of the above strategy shall positively benefit all who adopt it;
6. Resolves to remain actively seized of the matter.